Martin played High Elves – elegant, if a bit vanilla – and I do not remember ever beating him.
“Bretonnians? I’m gonna thrashyou!” Not his first words to me, but the first I remember: uttered early in secondary school, when we were both ten, had learned we both played Warhammer, and had asked which armies we collected. Those 20 years have given me a few grudges to settle – I play Dwarfs as well as Bretonnia, incidentally – and Mortal Empires will finally let me do so. This was what I had been waiting 20 years for.īut it is not my only Warhammer dream. And, indeed, watching three regiments of ranked-up Grail Knights smash into a line of Chaos Warriors at the climax of my Bretonnia campaign, while King Louen Leoncoeur tore Archaon to pieces, will stay with me for a while. Obviously, the fantasy is to command one of the armies in a Lord of the Rings battle scene, but if you were to buythe models you would need to re-enact Helm’s Deep (let alone Minas Tirith), and then actuallydo so under Warhammer rules, you would have more money than Smaug, more time than God, and a bigger tabletop than King Arthur.
This can leave your imagination with quite a lot of work to do: shuffling a unit of undercoated models into contact with another, perhaps pausing to reseat an errant knight, hardly has the emotional punch of the charge of the Rohirrim in Peter Jackson’s Two Towers. In Warhammer’s case, it is even more expensive than PC gaming, and in aesthetic terms your experience is a function of your patience and skill with a paintbrush. You're going to have to pull together some doomstacks of 20 units and march there.I love tabletop gaming but it has its limitations. You can collect some of these diplomatically, through military alliances and vassals, but you'll also have to expand your borders and swallow others up the old-fashioned way. On a much larger map you have to unite your faction, eliminate their main opponent, and then take control of a set number of far-flung locations with names like Black Crag, Hell Pit, and The Great Galleon. But if you also have the first Total War: Warhammer you can combine the two games in the Mortal Empires campaign, in which victory is more prosaic. Even after beating the vortex campaign the first time and learning how to game its systems, it's still fun to roleplay as one of the factions who want control of the magical flush for their own ends. One way to win Total War: Warhammer 2 is by completing the vortex campaign, racing to control a magical whirlwind that looks like a glowing suspended toilet flush the size of Godzilla.
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